id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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