worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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