You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize
