Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
How naked do you want me to be?
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