Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
