I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
