Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
