i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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