Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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