I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
