Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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