just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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