I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
so much tequila, so little girl.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
