so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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