Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Still dying that you shit outside
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
