remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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