she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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