Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
