No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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