Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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