If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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