She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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