He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
