so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
