Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
