she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
BRING THE BAGELS
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
