Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
