why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
