Non-Jews are for practice
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
