if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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