yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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