my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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