Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
