you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
