$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
