She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
