Swine flu is the new snow day.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
whose ass print is on the piano?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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