i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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