If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
