apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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