I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
