That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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