Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
