My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Are we still banned from the library?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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