I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
