I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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