Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
His nipple licking is glorious
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
