don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
time to smoke my breakfast
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
