I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
this is an emotional support booty call
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
