what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
